Luke 23:33 Forgiveness

As Jesus was being nailed to the cross he said, ‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’

On July 7th 2005, Jenny Nicholson, got on the tube at Paddington Station, to travel to the publishing company where she worked. It was a journey she had taken many times, but it was to be her last. She was one of fifty two people killed that day, as terrorists attacked the transport network in London, Jenny Nicholson was only 24 years old.

Just over three weeks later, on the 30th July 2005, Anthony Walker, a young 18 year with a very promising future ahead of him, was brutally murdered by a gang of racists thugs in Merseyside.

The one thing linking these two stories, is that both Jenny Nicholson and Anthony Walker came from Christian families. But the families have responded to their deaths, has been quite different.

The mother of Jenny Nicholson, the Revd Julie Nicholson, found it impossible to forgive her daughter’s attackers, and resigned from her role as Parish Priest. In an interview she gave to the BBC in March 2006, she said "It's very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate the Eucharist Communion and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when I feel very far from that myself... so for the time being, for the moment, that wound in me is having to heal."

In contrast however, the mother of Anthony Walker, Mrs Gee Walker, publicly forgive her sons killers in front of the gathered press. Explaining in an interview later, why she had done this, she said, “It was not me. Something inside came out of me.” She went on to say that she felt no hate for her son’s killers, only sadness, she said, “Jesus commanded, ‘Take up your cross and follow me.’ So I try to stay focused and my message is peace, love and forgiveness.”
Both stories, illustrate the challenge of forgiveness. As Christians we are called to be prepared to forgive, yet as we see from these two stories, forgiveness can be costly, and difficult, just as it must have been for Jesus, as he hung on the cross.

What lessons we learn from Jesus’ words on the cross, and how can we learn to forgive others?
What do we learn about forgiveness?

At St Martin’s we are running an Alpha Course, and one topic that has come up on numerous occasions over the course of the last few weeks is the topic of forgiveness. It is something that many people find difficult. In a tourist shop, on one button was written, “To err is human, to forgive is out of the question.” The reality is that many people do find it difficult to forgive.

So why is forgiving people so important?

Jesus’ cry of forgiveness from the cross, are for me the most remarkable words that are spoken from the cross. We have to remember that before Jesus was nailed to the cross, he had experienced many terrible things. He had been abandoned by his friends and supporters, he had been falsely accused, he was then flocked, beaten and insulted, before being made to carry his own cross to the place of execution. And what is Jesus’ response, as he hangs on the cross, in the most unbelievable agony? It is to say, Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

Jesus asked his Father to forgive the very ones who abused, rejected and humiliated him. It demonstrates the compassionate heart of our saviour.

What lessons do we learn from Jesus.

1 Forgiveness reaches out to the undeserving.

The people who had beat Jesus, mocked Him, and nailed Him to the cross did not deserve forgiveness. But Jesus through His kindness offered it to them. The point is that forgiveness reaches out to the undeserving.

It is a reminder that God’s forgiveness also extends out to each one of us, and that none of us are beyond the reach of God’s love or forgiveness, now matter what it is we have done. There may be people here today, who are carrying a burden of guilt or shame, and if that is you, then the message for you today is that God can take that from you. There is nothing that God cannot forgive.

2 We are to follow Jesus’ example

As Christians we are to follow the example of Jesus, we are to be people who are willing to forgive others, as we have been forgiven ourselves. But the reality is that, many people find this extremely difficult, like the mother of Jenny Nicholson. To forgive someone who has wronged you is not easy.

You yourself may have been hurt in the past, and you may feel that the person who wronged you doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, but then again did the people who put Jesus to death deserve to be forgiven? No. Do we deserve to be forgiven by God when we sin against him? No. But yet God still forgives us. And we too are called to forgive because God has forgiven us. Paul in Ephesians 4:31-32 writes, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

1. Forgiving is linked to being forgiven ourselves:

We are also called to forgive other people, because being prepared to forgive other people is linked to being forgiven ourselves.

In the Lord’s prayer, there is only one petition that has any condition attached to it: it is the petition of forgiveness. Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us”, and said “For if you do not forgive others from the heart, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you your sins.”

Notice first of all, that Jesus assumed we would forgive others. Forgive us, AS WE forgive others… To forgive as Christians is not an optional extra, it is something we are meant to do. Notice also that our forgiveness in effect depends on our own willingness to forgive others. Again, Forgive us, as we forgive others. Jesus in effect taught us to pray, Lord forgive me, in just the same way that I am prepared to forgive others. I wonder how often we have prayed this prayer, without realising just what it is we are saying. If you am not prepared to forgive someone, and you say the Lord’s Prayer, you need to think very carefully about what it is you are praying for.

Jesus in Mark 11:25 Jesus told his disciples, “when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” And in Matthew 6:14, he said "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you". Our own forgiveness depends upon our willingness to forgive others.

2 Because it is part of our spiritual growth

Another reason why we are to be prepared to forgive others, is that the more we learn and practice forgiveness, the more we become like God, who himself is merciful and forgiving. As Christians what enables us to forgive is the knowledge that we ourselves have been forgiven by God. God has forgiven us, not because we deserve it, but because he is full of grace and mercy.

3 Because it is in our own interest

An unwillingness to forgive people can have a detrimental effect upon us. If we hold on to resentment, anger or hatred, it can damage us, far more than the person we are unwilling to forgive. For example, I am sure we can all think of people, whose lives have been corrupted by the strong sense of bitterness and anger that they have felt towards a person or a situation.

If we do not forgive, we shall not enter into the all the joy and freedom God wants for us. Unwillingness to forgive ties us to the past, so that we cannot move forward.

For example, there was a situation many years ago, when a friend upset me by something they did. The anger and resentment I felt towards what they had done, grew inside me, until eventually I realised that it was affecting me in a very negative way, and I realised that I needed to forgive them, so I asked God to help me let go of the anger I felt, and the feelings of hurt and resentment that had been building in me disappeared, and I felt a sense of release and peace that I had not felt for a long time.

What forgiving involves

So what does the process of forgiving involve?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean denying our feelings of hurt, anger, outrage, loss, but acknowledging them, and learning to let go of them so we can move forwards in freedom. And it means refusing to seek revenge, if you wrong me, and I forgive you, I shouldn’t then go and look for ways in which I can get my own back on you.

Forgiveness is extremely difficult, so how can you forgive someone when you have been really hurt, especially when we have been hurt or let down by those who are closest to us?
But there are some things we can do which can help us.
· We can talk about it, especially to a wise and trusted friend.
· We can try to understand why the person who has upset us has acted in a certain way. For example, Professor Sheila Hollins, the mother of Abigail Witchalls, the young mother who was left paralysed after been attacked whilst walking with her young son, was able to forgive the attacker, Richard Cazaly, who later committed suicide. Professor Hollins said “His death is the real tragedy in this story because he lost his life and almost certainly this was the consequence of the mind-altering drugs he was using." She was able to forgive this man, in part because she understood the effect these drugs had upon him. · We can pray:
1 Pray for ourselves, by sharing our feelings with God, and asking for his help and grace to lead us to a point where we feel we can forgive.
2 Pray for the person who has hurt us that God will bless them- this can be difficult but helpful. Jesus said pray for those who persecute you.
3 And we can pray that God will somehow use what has happened for our good.

Reluctance to forgive

Sometimes we may be reluctant to forgive. It may be that we are afraid that if we do forgive, we will in effect by saying:
· That the offence didn’t really hurt me
· That I and my feelings don’t matter much
· That we believe the offender had a valid excuse to hurt us
· That the offender need not face any consequences for their actions
· That it is okay to hurt me again.

But forgiving someone doesn’t apply any of these things. Just as when Jesus said, Father forgive them, he wasn’t saying that our sin which took him to the cross wasn’t significant, it was, but he still forgave us.

This raises a further question. Does forgiveness always mean reconciliation with the offender? The answer is not necessarily, although it can be a healing experience. Forgiveness is about our own attitude. Martin Luther King said, Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a permanent attitude. It is not always possible to restore the damaged relationship, for example if the offender is dead. And there may be occasions when it is not always desirable to restore the relationship, for example if a relationship was abusive.

Forgiveness is not just a one off event, it is an ongoing thing. In Matthew 18:21 Peter asks Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" To which Jesus replies, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. In other words, it is an ongoing thing, and for some people, the process of forgiveness may take many years.

Acknowledging our own faults

It is important to recognise that we may need to apologise or seek the forgiveness of others for things we have done wrong ourselves. A number of years ago, I wrote to two former friends, asking for their forgiveness for things I had said and done. I realised that I had hurt them by my actions, and had never apologised, and because of this I wasn’t at peace with myself. So I wrote to them and asked for their forgiveness. Through that process of seeking their forgiveness, I felt released from all the guilt and shame. Jesus taught us, about the importance of being reconciled, with one another. If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Mt. 5:23-24) This is the reason we exchange the peace before we receive Holy Communion. It is not simply intended as a polite handshake, but an opportunity for us to make peace with one another, and forgive one another any harm we may have caused.

There may be some people her today, thinking I know I should forgive, but I don’t think I can. I want to finish by telling the story of Corrie Ten Boom, and how she had to face the challenge of forgiving someone who had hurt her.

Corrie was born in in Haarlem, Holland in 1892 into a Christian family. When the German army invaded Holland on the 10th May 1940, Corrie and her family took the courageous decision to help Jews escape from the Germans. Through their action they helped save many lives. However on 28th February 1944 the Gestapo arrested Corrie and nine members of her family, and she ended up at the Ravensbruck concentration camp in Germany. Although Corrie survived the concentration camp, many of her family didn’t, including her sister Betsie.
After the war Corrie was invited to speak in many countries about her experiences and about her faith. Corrie had always talked about the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation, but in 1947 she had to come face to face with the challenge and cost of true forgiveness. She was speaking at a church in Munich, when she met one of her former guards at Ravensbruck. And this what Corrie said about this encounter.

“Memories of the concentration camp came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights, the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister's frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment of skin.

Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: "A fine message, fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!"

It was the first time since my release that I had been face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.

"You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk," he was saying. "I was a guard there. But since that time," he went on, "I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein--" again the hand came out--"will you forgive me?"

And I stood there--and could not. Betsie had died in that place--could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?

It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out, but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

For I had to do it--I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. "If you do not forgive men their trespasses," Jesus says, "neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses."

Still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. "Jesus, help me!" I prayed silently. "I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling."

And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

"I forgive you, brother!" I cried. "With all my heart!"

For a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then.

Conclusion

As we look at the countless problems in our world, one of the most important things we need to see is forgiveness. For without forgiveness, there’s no future. And the greatest symbol we have for forgiveness is the cross of Jesus. The cross also reveals to us just how costly forgiveness can be, but also how necessary it is. Mother Teresa said, If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. In Christ’s suffering on the cross that not only do we see true love revealed, but also the power of forgiveness to bring healing & wholeness. This is what Corrie ten Boom discovered when she met her former capture, and this is what we too can discover if we are people who are prepared to forgive. Amen.